It wasn't always this way, my race being instantly identified that is. There was a long period were I was neither this or that. That's what you get for being the result of a mixed heritage.
A dictionary defines a Malay as a Muslim, who speaks Malay, follows Malay customs and has Malay blood.
That's the tricky bit. I live with my (muslim) Popo and Kong-Kong, chinese for maternal grandmother and grandfather.
We fast and celebrate Eid and yet I receive my angpows (red packets containing money) during Chinese New Year.
I consider myself lucky but I know some who think less of me because I'm not "Malay" enough.
My faith in religion (not God) is somewhat shaky. My malay language skills are not impressive to local standards; many asked if I'm a foreigner. I don't practice a very Malay custom, it's intertwined with my semi-chinese upbringing. Yes, I've Malay blood but I'm also of chinese and thai descent.
The funny thing is in the end, most Malaysians are "rojak" (mixed) in some way or another. I just don't want to simply peg myself down as in any group unlike others.
There was a time when I did. You know that feeling of wanting to belong, I'm sure. I could never be "this" or "that" enough.
Then I realised I was seeing this completely wrong. I don't want to belong in a group, I want to belong among friends that accept me as who I am rather than what.
I might not fit in society's norms but it matters less to me everyday. Norms change. I just have to be one of those who change it. :)